Too Dark To Buy

I Am Rich T-Shirt, 3 Stars

$100

Three stars: blood money. I AM RICH, a dark humor shirt in heavy black cotton. Same shirt as the other tiers, same printer: the only difference is the stars, and what you paid for them.

Best worn: to the reading of the will.

  • Shipping $4.90 worldwide. Two shirts ship free.
  • Printed to order, as close to you as we can. Leaves the printer in 2 to 5 business days.
  • 14 days to change your mind. Misprinted or damaged? Send a photo and we reprint or refund.
  • Card details go straight to Stripe. We never see the number. We see enough already.
  • Questions first? DM @toodarktofollow on Instagram.

A gift? Put their address at checkout and tell them it was in the will.

Who you are paying

Too Dark To Buy is the store of @toodarktofollow, a dark humor page 38.2K people follow on Instagram and deny following. It is one person in France, not a warehouse. Nothing sits in stock: each shirt is printed after you order, by Gelato, at a print shop as close to you as they have one. No reviews yet: we opened in October 2026. Someone has to go first.

Size guide and fabric
SizeChest, laid flatLength
S46 cm / 18 in71 cm / 28 in
M51 cm / 20 in74 cm / 29 in
L56 cm / 22 in76 cm / 30 in
XL61 cm / 24 in79 cm / 31 in
2XL66 cm / 26 in81 cm / 32 in
3XL71 cm / 28 in84 cm / 33 in
4XL76 cm / 30 in86 cm / 34 in
5XL81 cm / 32 in89 cm / 35 in

Measured flat. Unisex, true to size. Between two sizes, take the bigger one.

  • Heavyweight cotton, 180 g/m² (Gildan 5000)
  • Classic unisex fit, true to size
  • Printed direct to garment, one at a time
  • Wash cold, inside out

More dark humor shirts. Two ship free.